i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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