Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
