do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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