dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
