just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize