He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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