I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.