Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
