My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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