I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
