Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
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All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize