Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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