Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize