i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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