apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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