:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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