just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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