He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
