Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize