I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
