Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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