i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
