Pants 0. Shit 1.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.