I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.