Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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