I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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