What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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