Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
