is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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