Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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