The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
