we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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