Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
God I need to hump something, right now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
