Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
