I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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