I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
