today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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