i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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