I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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