I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she looked like the before picture.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
