a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
