Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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