I just cut my nipple shaving
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
