in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
