There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
