I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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