physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
smell my finger.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize