you guys were way drunker than both of me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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