I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
thus making me awesome and them whores
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
