Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
