Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
