She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just had sex bonerless
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
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Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
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Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
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