Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
