i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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